Adieu

I don't actually know how to put this into nice words.  Because I can't.
How can you say that absolutely everything about your father disgusts you, nicely.  It's impossible.  I can't do it. I just don't know how.  I have to get away from here.  Every minute I am here it is another minute towards the end of this.  I will break down in no time at all.  I can't handle that, and I don't have anyone else who wants to handle it with me.  I thought I had friend that were capable of being there for me.  They failed.  I thought I had someone I could lean on for everything.  I don't.  I guess the reason I wanted it, was because they were all lying to me about how much they cared, I needed somewhere where people actually cared.  I could see through their false pretenses and perfect worlds, nothing I did would be good enough for them.
And yet again I find myself giving all, and gaining nothing in return.
This is why I learn. And it hurts.
And the three people I find myself needing more and more, are the people that I didn't expect. The one I love, The one I find myself getting lost in his quirks which somehow I manage to love, and the tall silent one which is just there, all the time, and I know he is there for me.
I am scared if I leave they will forget me.
I am scared that if I go, they will just pretend I was never here,
They understand me,  they get this.
They get me.
And I get them.
There's a reason I was supposed to move on from the people before.
There had to be a reason, because they just weren't ready for this genius.
You call it what you want, I don't have it anymore. But it was an intricate winding of the mind that had everything under control to make it perfection  Somewhat messed up perfection, but how else could I reach perfection.  I found myself leaning further and further towards fulfilling it all.

So.
To those three people who make me part of a true team, don't forget I'm coming right back, and I'll be there for you through it all.  We will be amazing.  That I promise.

I thought I wouldn't be able to move on, I thought at the time that finding something new was impossible, I thought that I would never get over it.
Turns out, I just did, and I learnt how to not care for everything that gets in my path.
I am a trail blazing line of fire, you have no idea.
Once a memory, always a memory,
you never cease to enlighten me with who you are, guess that goes for both of us hey.
I don't think we are friends anymore.
I think you know that too.
I think you know that sometimes extended silence is the end of it all.
Sometimes, time doesn't fix everything, sometimes it ruins it.  Waiting ruins it.
So yeah. You ruined it.
That's good though.

The curves I follow are different now.
That's what happens when you grow up.  One day it will happen to you.  You will realise how ridiculous it all was.
You will regret it all, but for now you have her, and when you don't?  I don't know.

SO, Team JEAH.  Let's get this ball rolling.  A force to be reckoned with hey.

I would say I love you all, but Love is something I have learnt not to give out to easily isn't it.  Because I gave it to you, and what did you do... throw it away. Throw it away.

Adieu.