Alone

Tomorrow it will be exactly three months.

Since he left me.

I was doing fine.

Until not too long ago.

It had started to sink in slowly, and it hit me hard, face on like a train.

I didn't know what to do with myself.

I couldn't handle the hurt. I had to get it out of me.

So I did.

Not in the best way either. I broke down. I shouted, I screamed, I cried, I hid.

I frightened myself.

And now, when I need someone to talk to more than ever,

I am left alone in this world,

empty and lost,

with no one to turn to.

And when my dreams are filled up with the faces of people who used to let me talk,

I realise that I am more alone, than I have ever been before.

And that pain,

isn't something I can live with for the rest of my life.

One mistake, and your world can get flushed away.

One mistake that no one wants to forgive you for.

One mistake that you will regret,

and one mistake that will leave you wondering if you're worth it.

Try and say sorry, but it doesn't work.

The damage is done, they say.

And now, at the moment when I want to turn back the most,

a brick wall has been built behind me,

and forward is the only option.

My tears don't mean anything anymore,

not when there isn't anyone to hear them.

'To make a mountain of your life

Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me
Always love, Hate will get you every time
Always love, Don't wait til the finish line

Slow demands come 'round
Squeeze the air and keep the rest out
It helps to write it down
Even when you then cross it out

But Always Love, Hate will get you every time
Always Love even when you want to fight

Self-directed lives
I want to know what it'd be like to
Aim so high above
Any card that has been dealt you

Always Love
Hate will get you every time
Always love
Hate will get you
'