Blue October Overweight

I am a trivial excuse for a person.

No one is ever going to care, because, you know what,

There are so many things out there, that I know, take away everything that I know, that are so much worse than anything i could ever experience.

I feel it, I do.

I know there are other people hurting, I know that.

I don't to show people my hurting, because they will judge me for being selfish, for being stupid, by hurting me I hurt others.

But if no one ever finds out, it is never going to urt them.

And I can support everyone else who is hurting more than me, because What I have gone through, can't be that much compared to them.

I have seen the natural cycles of life, if though somewhat unnatural.

It shouldn't always happen this way, but it does,

and I need to escape,

I just want everyone to be ok.

That's all I want.

I want to be finished with, ebtirely human, entirely happy, so I can just be.

Being.

I don't know what's wrong with me,

what inspires to say stuff, what makes me me.

One day I am going to die. I want to die while I'm at the top of my health, the top of my game.

I am scared of the decline, I am scared of the end. because Am I just going to become the roots of a tree, the vines of a grape, the mud of a field.

If I am at my best now, so be it.

So be everything.

I don't know what forward and backward is, what up and down is, what circles or squares are.

I want to know the truth. Of who I am.

I'm insecure.

I'm lame, I'm awesome, I'm just not anyone else

And I never will be.

I'm sick of this thing they call me.

I want to change

I want to change for the better,

for something more

Just forget about me.

Just forget I even exist.

Stop telling me things that make me want to shrivel in a ball and die.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry he's dead

I'm sorry I'm not an amazing shoulder to cry on

I'm sorry I'm never home

I'm sorry you had to make an effort for me,

I'm sorry I'm not as happy as I was three years ago,

thigs happen.

I'm sorry boy, I'm sorry.

Just replenish me, find me, build me back up and I'm yours forever until eternity,

I'm tired of this. I want to move on. out of here, somewhere where no one will care about anything.

It will be me and destiny,

and I won't feel as though I'm inadequate all the time.

I'll feel full and happy

and this won't exist.

We won't exist,

you won't make me feel like this.

Because I'll be stronger

I won't feel vulnerable

like someone else is living my life

BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE I WANT TO BE. Be. Be. i want to be the base of my life.

I WANT TO HELP YOU

But first you have to care.

Like I did.

Don't dig me out of this hole I have dug,

Because it will only make it bigger.

I need a rope.

I want to be there for you. For everyone. I don't like what I've bc=ecome.

I'm a monster in my own head.

Every time I laugh it's a dying giraffe suffocationg.

I want to be FREE.

to help YOU. And everyone ELSE>

Because sometimes, they hurt too.

Don't you know it.

I don't want them to hurt.

Enjoyment from the core of the bone.

'I want to learn to walk with others as an equal
I want to treat the ones who love me with respect
I want to tell the world I'll give them all a piggyback
And try to take away my negative effect
I want to kiss the girl, I know I'll never lie again
I want to call my dad and tell him that I care
I want to let my brother know
He saved my life a thousand times
Throughout the years he's been my friend
Who's always there

Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?'